.marty.

Comment:

I was told about this website through a friend, and he encouarged me to submit it. He said what i wrote was beautiful, and there would be alot of people who could relate to this.

 

The following poem was written when i was 14 years old. It was one of the first that started a chain of following poems, and it is what started my love for writing of poetry and stories. This poem was written just after i had gotten out of an arugument with my mom. This poem represents the fear i had about telling my mom about me being gay. Since it was one of the first poems I had ever written, it really doesn't have a structure to it. Well, here it is...

 

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As i sit here looking outside this dirty window,

 

and watch my life pass me by,

 

i wonder how long this can go.

 

This little secret I have is controlling me.

 

Where I go, it goes

 

and when I eat, it slowly eats away at me.

 

As I sleep this secret haunts me,

 

eating away my dreams.

 

But no matter how long this little thing tears me apart,

 

I cannot let it out.

 

If i do, how will you react?

 

Would you flip out and disown me,

 

or would you take it in with care and love?

 

You see, it is the fear, the fear if the secret,

 

that makes me afraid to tell you.

 

If I did tell you,

 

would you love me the way you always have?

 

Or would you look at me in disgust and ignore me?

 

This little secret is tearing me apart.

 

You see when you are not around, I break down.

 

Sometimes i flip out, and get angry and then I'll wonder...

 

You see me changing, yet you do nothing.

 

Maybe you are blind,

 

afraid to see the truth.

 

Maybe that is why you just let me be.

 

As those thoughts pass through my mind,

 

the more anger i feel, and the less i want to tell you.

 

But i know, eventually it has to be done.

 

It has to be said, but i just cant.

 

or at least, not yet.

 

Just know the longer i wait,

 

the more this secret will tear me apart.